YouStoleMyHeart.

reflection.

Sunday2:54:00 AM

recently i've been thinking a lot. like what's right what's wrong. white and black is there really tis grey area that we people cannot interfere with. i didn't get myself emotional. just purely let the thoughts run through my mind. thinking i've always been helping people or rather think i'm helping people. am i really helping? or rather i invert more hurt into them. i've been thinking i always think i am a good person. am i really one? what causes this thoughts wasn't because things like what my dearest hurt me. just i think i really hurt my friend. i thought by asking one to talk their heart out, will feel better. but i think the matter that person is dealing with is far worst than what i've encounter. well. and i thought i could like always be the 'good person' give words of advice then that person will pick it up and recover. but i was wrong. it turn out i invert more hurt and caused more pain. i'm really very guilty and sorry. i reflected on myself and realize i was been 'busybody' den being 'helpful'.some people, some problem may be well left untouched and let it recover by itself. yes, time is needed. cannot rush it. trying speed things up often make things worst. perhaps that's the grey area in life. noone can interfere with it. let it be. it'll heal some day.

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wasn't a good friday and saturday i was looking forward to. my plans din work out because my dear got confine. i broke down but din want to bother others. i bottled up just like before. and last thing i wanted to do making weijie felt worst was to cry to him and say out how bad i felt how disappointed i am and made him feel worst. sigh. yes perhaps i am a bad girlfriend. i don't know how to think in his shoes seeing him so tired and down already i still continue to make things worst for him. but before saying anything like i am worst girlfriend ever. you aint the one going thru what i was going thru. you aint the one weijie love and dote on. you aint the one waitin patiently for him to book out every weekend. you aint the one baked cake but he got confine and had to throw all your effort into drain. you aint the one loving him. i really felt my heart sank when i saw him msg. i sent almost or more than 60 msges in just 3 days knowing he wont be able to reply but i keep sending thinkin he'll feel damn happy to see i report to him almost every hour one msg. telling him what i was doin what i eat who i'm wid and all. but the first msg you receive after 3 days was he cant come back on weekend. my broken. you know how it felt? like some one rip your heart and throw all the pieces into salt water. sigh. i still feel bad. yes. i'm still a bad girlfriend. but so what as long as he loves me. i dont care what others say.

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