YouStoleMyHeart.

Friday6:14:00 PM

what am i doing?

what are you doing , xueling?

what the hell am i doing to myself?

to tell the truth i have no idea.

i keep asking myself why i still feel so sad when someone scold me? i thought i would have been used to it. having those sarcasm told face to face, been a temper venting point. it should have been nothing to me, isn't it? i should have got used to it long long time ago. i shouldn't have been the chatter box perhaps. being the clown that think of ways to try to please everybody, but actually pissing them off.i should just learn to shut up n don't comment.cause the comments given,to them, are just rubbish. passing comments you said unintentionally are just craps.making them pissed off. No one takes it to heart anyway, why bother speaking up in the first place. waste my own saliva, my effort thinking way to phrase it properly, trying to please them.perhaps i shouldn't have exist, this heart breaking little fact to me might be happy news to some others. make their life easier. i thought if only i treat them the way i want them to treat me, i will be happier, they might be happier. but it's just crap. deep in me long knew, there ain't such stuff. no matter how good you treat the person, the person won't be able to treat you as well.cos they tends to take you for granted or maybe you don weight a gram in their heart. life ain't fair. i knew it long ago. never mind, it's no longer important. i will learn to just leave with what i am left with, my little pride i'm still left with, and learn to shut up don't give comments.

sage

when a lion falls for a cow, 28 days.

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Thursday8:05:00 PM

it's the thoughts that counts,

often it's the little actions,

smallest efforts which in total created the biggest impact.

this sentence came across my mind when i reach home n found an big big brown envelope on my desk.i saw the present julien mail to me. the card she drew on her own, the words she wrote, hm..a bag from esprit by shone n ed gorgor.(: i would say, it's lucky for a friend to remember ur bday, fortunate to receive one present. i am super lucky n fortunate for friends to remember n even celebrate my bday wid me!(:

all i can say is, i'm fortunate to know them n haf them. i will cherish them as much as they cherish me.. love ya all!

ytd, i helped my dad to dye his hair, i realised he is really getting older la..

last time, he used to be so handsome n had black silky hair..ytd, i saw grey hair.. a sudden emotion stuck me, heart felt kinda heavy.

yet, at night, i saw something tat touched my heart to the fullest. my dad din was off the dye properly n had some dye on his ears. he din realise it, n was mock at by my mum. i thot she would jus walk off to kitchen to find her food. but, she came back wid a wet towel in her hand, she start helpin my dad wipe the dye off his ears gently.

tat scene, i thot will only be seen in tv, i saw it real life.

when a lion falls for a cow, honey coated 27 days.(:

sage

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Monday8:40:00 PM

it'll be instrumentation paper tmr, right now, i'm bloggin instead of muggin. i jus don haf the freakin mood to study.. aint feelin well since like sat i think. cant really rmb when alr. havin the headache i always have, the sleepless night as usual. i feel bad. guilty for not studyin but i cant help it. really none of the things can go into my mind. i jus wan to play n play. n deep in me know tat playin now means failing n everything negative. but i jus cant help it.damn it.

sage

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Wednesday9:59:00 PM

thanks for all the birthday wishes(: yes, i did enjoy my day to the fullest.haha

chaotic morning.

actual plan was that i suppose to meet wenshou n zhao hearty in skool at 0930 for breakfast and meet yj at 1030 at cck. den follow by day plan.

but they overslept. so they plan changed to. the four of us meet at outram at 10plus 11. den go for breakfast cum lunch at chinatown. den we went seperate ways. me n yj trained down to ps, went cathay to catch the movie , district9(my first M18 show!!!). HAHA. the person din even check our ic man. means we look old?! argh.

after movie we walk walk in ps awhile den went to find present.. damn paiseh to choose the lady keep lookin at us. den meet my 2nd sis accompany her do some stuff. she treat us swensen. HEEX. the food not bad!! den train to orchard , fareast wid jie to remove her extension.after tat me n yj stroll back to ps to meet wenshou,xiaozhao n cipher for dinner. actually i was too full to eat. i sat there to listen to gossips all tat. den chit chat awhile, den we all trained home. a simple day but meant alot to me.(: it isnt how much money we spent, how much activities we did. it is the fact tat i spend it wid ppl tat love me.

zhao hearty, thanks for the flower, the noodle tat u cooked for me, the card n all the effort u put in to make me happy. u're truly a sweet gal.

yj, thanks for the pleasant day. i like in fact love the present u let me choose. i will cherish it.(:

to all my dear friends.. thanks for making my day such a wonderful one.

[ wenshou, cipher, all the other buddies, besties and all.]

when a lion fell for a cow, 19 loving days.

i adore you.

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Tuesday9:35:00 PM

a few hours from my birthday, how is the feeling like?

18 years old, another stage of my life. how exactly does it feels?

i ain't really sure.. cos for the past 17 years.. i don really celebrate it.

when i'm young, my birthday would be a day that my aunt bring me n my 2 cousins by bicycles to mac nearby, 2 set of happy meals n 3 of us share.

when i'm in sec skool, my birthday would mean exams nearby, study harder.or mayb receive a present or 2. oh ya, dinner wid family the next day to celebrate mum's bday too.

my poly year one, it means EXAMS. wth..

this year poly year2 n things seems to change.

havin xiaozhao, yj they all around me..telling me to get used to the change as they would be there for me starting from now onwards.

it jus make me tear.

i've nv felt so cherished till den.

i guess this friendship is a kind of drug, a fatal seduction that i cant get off the hook.

when a lion fell for a cow, 18 sweet days.

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Saturday1:41:00 PM

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BESTIES~ WISH U GUYS HAF A GOOD TIME. (:

erm, very chaotic weeks. don know how it passed so smoothly. had my instrumentation lab test,gems test, tanker fam ica, auto cad ica and preparation for mmit ica next week.completed maths pbl. next week will be having mmit ica. AND next week is oso the STUDY week. ): time flies man.after next week,

25aug09 - instrumentation - 1230-1440- T1A52

27aug09 - applied thermodynamic - 1600-1840 - T1A51

31aug09 - engineering maths- 1600-1810 - T1A65

AHHH. after tat will be holidays. yj they all havin itp. den i don know wat to do. mayb learn drivin, meanwhile go help daddy ba. nth much to do man.

when a lion fell for a cow. 2 weeks and a day.

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Friday7:52:00 PM

a very happy week. time passes so fast. it has been a week! (:

exams coming. ARGH. it's time to start studyin!

when a lion fell for a cow.

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Monday8:22:00 PM

monday. meet ain to go to skool tis morning.(: late for class but when we reach i got listen in class k! haha, den went to library watch a movie " Mrs Doubtfire ". WAH super touchin. i cried. =.= den went late for tanker fam class. after a while went off. went to find yj n zhao they all at t15. they were doin their project there. den i sat there listen to them discuss.haha.after tat went off wid yj. actually suppose to go home but when we reach ps, some how we jus decided to alight n go watch movie.LOL. den yea after movie, cousin called me to meet her for dinner. den went thai express for dinner. den went guardian n walk walk abit to see wat to buy as present for mummyS' bday.

****************************************************************************

haha. sunday.. found hagen outside my hse. den my dad told me, he found hagen strugglin under a peice of wood. den he carry it back. poor hagen had a hip n for arm n lung n chin injury. doc say he cannot walk for 6 days to prevent further injury. see it stuck inside small cage very sad uh. :( den after takin it to vet, vern n me went to peiyee's hse slack. n wait for dajie to fetch us.

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Saturday2:18:00 PM

MY SATURDAY

i woke up at 8 again.yawns. don know why everyday wake up so early.erm. den i wash up n sat on sofa see my mother walk about in the living room.i online but apparently no one was awake.haha. jus stone there till my nephew came back from his breakfast wid gor. mum switch on tv for him so i sat there watch kid's programme wid him.so long since i watch pokemon.DAMN cute! hahah. den i online again. was damn bored n tired jus couldnt sleep.=.= don know why. den saw yj n aaron they all started one by one online. chat wid yj on phone. (: an hour plus. the time like flies lo. when i started chattin on phone i look at clock was like 1245 like tat when i hang up is like goin 2 alr. after tat i fell asleep finally. woke up at 4 plus goin 5. went for lunch.

back home. den did hse chores again!!! i think all my sister n me mus go for hair treatment alr. drop so much hair.AND i realise my cat ran away from home.SHATS. first dus, now hagen. i don haf hagen n dus alr. left wid dusty n blackie cat.wth. nvm. i guess tis is animal instinct ba. run away from my hse little devil tat always come back during weekend to force them sleep.LOL. MR. LAVERN AW's fault la. hahaha.my nephew always bully them.see run away alr. nvm actually as long as they are happy n living. i'm content. pray hard for them to be safe n sound wherever they are. later meetin fer take something.(: so long nv meet her alr. excited!!!!! erm.. meanwhile vern was watchin some lame kids' VCD my jie bought for him. OMG. the characters inside damn funny.

*************************************************** i had a very special friday. really. haha.

went for movie, marina barrage wid yj n after tat meet zhao, wenshou, aaron, weiliang, ryan n his gf,melissa at bugis for steamboat n dessert .(: nice. after tat train home. heex, happy day for me.

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the thursday night when i couldnt sleep.was chattin to zhao on msn web cam. (: i love web camin wid her.HAHA. actually took an unglam foto of her.but shall not post up la.hahaha.love her la! she always accompany me till later night. sage

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