phew wat a day. went to sparc room to do a.d.d stuff. cousin followed me n help out. torturing ! the air con was freakin cold. benjamin n evelyn said they not cold!!!!! haha. after tat wat i did let me think. come home n blog. borin eh. anyway something i don understand why. why ppl wan to be in relationship so eagerly. even if they are not suitable or wateva. i jus thot i need time to adjust to the changes around me. it's not wrong to be in love. but jus tat it's the wrong time. i'm still so immature towards tat part of life. not prepared and all. i need time to grow up. to learn wat is cherishin and lovin. why ppl don give me time n they jus judge me accordin to their so-called theory? if they are talkin about love n likin now. can i ask wat is love n like to them? by jus sayin n kissin huggin n holdin hands? i thot love is something more about feelin. like that slowly turn into love that engage us into serious relationship cos i thot it would be unstable to get into relationship jus bcos of like. like each other den get into relationship, den suffer along as it goes not as u found the feeling faded off. isn't it stupid? i used to think i need someone to be there to share my happiness worries and burden but the thot jus faded off after sometimes i thot i need something else. friendship, family, studies more mayb serious relationship which i am still not mature enough to handle. why ppl like to rush n get engage in their so-called relationship n suffer along n end up breakin n cant even be friends again? why don they jus wait for time to prove their feelin is love n not crush den get together? rejection doesn't mean breakin of freidnship isn't it? rejection oso doesn't mean commentin or critizin isn't it? if the person is more mature or mature enough, all critizing n makin one another feelin angry should not happen. i thot. some how it doesn't seems to me tat way. some how ppl nowadays make it tat way tat rejection equal no more friends all critizing n commenting will appear. damn it. i am not used to it. perhaps i haf to try to get use to it. the best thing i could do. something i need to say is seriously, my feelin is real n true. like means like, not even the most intelligent man or woman can deny or pretend. morever i'm jus some normal person i cant pretend tat i like some1 when i not. so when i say i like means i like jus tat the feelin is not love yet. i don know whether it'll turn into love. tat would need time to prove. no one can calculate how much time one need to turn like into love. or whether it'll turn into love. how would i ever know. i would nv risk a friendship for something i am not sure of. tat's something i am sure of. so i would nv nv nv get into relationship like tat easily..

sage